Breaking your promises
by Christy swan
Summary: Edward never came back in NM. Bella never moved on. She starts hanging out with the new girls, Christy and Marcia and gets involved with drugs. What happens when the Cullens come back and find a different Bella? Rated T for language, drugs and cutting.
1. Christy and Marcia

**AN: Hey guys, this is my first story and I know it's extremly short, but the next chapter will be extra long. Please go easy on me, this is the first story I've ever written. I will be updating every minute of free time I have so you won't have to wait forever. Please review and tell me what you think.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all the characters, except for Christy and Marcia, so please do not sue me.**

**It's been 3 years since they left me. I hate them all. They broke me to pieces and didn't even take a second glance behind them. I don't care anymore though. Charlie died 2 months ago from a gunshot wound and died before the ambulances even arrived.**

**I was walking the streets of port angeles, not caring about the dangers lurking at every corner. Rain began to pour through the drenched clouds, when a black porche pulled over by me. I was scared for a moment until I realized why I shouldn't be. Everything that mattered to me was gone. I had nothing, so why would it matter to me if I was about to be killed any minute? There was nothing left to live for anyway.**

**I closed my eyes, waiting patiently for my near death. **_Why is nothing happening?_ **I thought to myself. My eyes wrenched open when I heard 2 girls talking to each other. "Is she okay?" The girl with dark brown hair asked. The other girl with black hair shrugged. "Lets go ask" She suggested, and they both began to approach me.**

"**Are you okay?" The black haired girl asked. "yeah" I mumbled blankly. I guess the silence made them feel awkward so the brown haired girl spoke up. "Um, well my name is Marcia" She held out her hand. "Isabella" I said, taking her hand and shaking it. I decided to go with my full name.**

"**I'm Christy" The black haired girl said. I shook her hand. "Nice to meet you" I noticed Christy smoking a cigarette. She saw my gaze and held the packet out to me.**

"**Take one" She offered. I was hesitant for a second but then thought about it. **_He broke a promise, so why the hell would I continue to keep mine? _**I thought. I took it and she lit it for me. I put it between my lips and inhaled the smoke.**

**I held back a cough and continued to inhale it. It calmed all my nerves. I liked it…It felt good.**


	2. Shopping

_**2 months later…**_

**I've been hanging out with Christy and Marcia for a while now. I told them about myself and they comforted me when I started to break down. They helped me through it and somehow, I feel like I can breathe again.**

**They asked me to move in with them and so I did. With their help, I was able to move out in just under 2 days. **

**Christy's house was huge! It was a 2 story mansion and she lived by herself. When I asked her about it, she told me her parents were millionaires but they past away a year ago in a car accident.**

**My room was 5 times as big as my other one and it had a large walk in closet. I even had my own bathroom.**

**I was super excited when I found out that Christy and Marcia were going to be transferring to my school. We would have so much fun together, and to celebrate the exiting news, we had a special girls night out.**

**We went to Port Angeles to go shopping and even though I don't really like shopping, I actually had a good time.**

**We got our hair dyed black. I Just got it layered but Marcia and Christy got stripes instead. Marcia got hot pink and Christy got green. **

**I stopped at every store, buying stuff. I got a cute pair of black stilettos and a matching hand bag. It was a blast and it was beginning to feel like an addiction. I felt a little guilty for spending Christy's money but she said that it was absolutely no problem. We shopped for hours and I ended up with a whole new wardrobe.**

**We stuffed all our bags into the car and surprisingly managed to get them all in. We sat in the porche for a few minutes, smoking and planning our next activity.**

"**Let's go to the new night club in Port Angeles! Marcia Suggested. "Yeah!" Christy agreed. **_Hmmm.. a club. This could be fun. _**"That's a great idea but we should go back to get ready and stuff." They agreed with me so we headed back.**

**Marcia wore a red tube dress that hugged her curves perfectly and a pair of silver pumps. Christy wore a lacy black mini dress and strappy heels that made her legs look extra long. **

"**You guys look amazing!" I gasped and they laughed at the look on my face. "Of course we do, you can't expect us to arrive there dressed in rags do you?" Christy teased and I grinned. **

"**Why aren't you dressed yet?" Marcia asked. I shrugged. "I don't know what to wear" Both their eyes widened in shock. "You buy yourself a entire wardrobe and you're telling me you don't know what to wear?!" She screeched. **

"**Come here, we are going to find you the perfect outfit!" Marcia grabbed my wrist and dragged me to my closet. She reminded me of Alice. I frowned, not wanting to think about them.**

**After about 2 minutes of digging through my new selection of clothing, Marcia held up one outfit in front of me. "This is the one. I can picture you wearing it and by the looks of it, you will look amazing." I looked it over twice. It was a dark blue halter top and a back mini skirt.**

"**I think it's perfect" I smiled in approval and she started to jump up and down in her heels.**

"**Great! So Christy will do your hair and makeup and I'll help you slip it on when you're done. Those stilettos you bought today will go perfect with this outfit." She clapped her hands and skipped out into the hallway. **

**Christy came in and pulled me to the bathroom. I sat on a salon-like stool facing the mirror. The counter was filled with hair products, makeup and everything you would find in a beauty shop.**

**Suddenly, the stool was turned around in a very fast motion that made my head spin. "You are not allowed to see yourself until I am finished" She insisted. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. Who knew how long this would take?**

**I was hoping I would be able to drift off while she pampered me, but I couldn't since I was continuously being brushed and poked.**

**After what seemed like forever, she finally finished. I opened my eyes and squinted while they adjusted to the light. "I am finished with my masterpiece. You are going to be so stunning, you'll have every guy drooling at your feet!" She laughed**

**She spun me back around to face the mirror and chuckled when I gasped at myself. Was that really me? I didn't even look like myself, but I definitely looked drop-dead gorgeous. She applied a Smokey eye look and some light pink lip gloss to my face. She curled my black hair into loose waves that cascaded down my back.**

**I sat there, staring at myself for I don't know how long when someone snapped me out of me trance. I looked up to see an annoyed Marcia. "Hello! Do you realize how long I've been standing here?! We have to get you dressed so we can leave! C'mon" She forcefully pulled me to my feet.**

**She helped undressed me slowly, careful not to mess up anything, and slid the blue halter over my head. It fit snugly, and revealed a lot of skin. I looked sexy. I was able to put my skirt on by myself. It felt extremely tight, although I was sure it was my size.**

**Christy and Marcia did some last minute touch-ups to their makeup before getting into the car. I grabbed my black Coach purse and followed closely behind them. Christy hopped into the drivers seat and sped us off to our destination.**


	3. Night Clubs

**AN:Thank you so much for the reviews! I really appreciate it. Anyway, here is the third chapter to my story and I hope you like it. Please review, and let me know what you think.**

**WARNING:There is cutting in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all the twilight characters except Marcia and Christy.**

**We pulled into the parking lot and I was feeling a little nervous. I've never been to a club before, let alone drink any alcohol beverages. Charlie told me the results of drinking and from what I've heard, they aren't good.**

**But the pain was still there, even though I was finally starting to recover, the hole in my chest was still existing. I was willing to try anything to replace the pain or at the very least, numb it for a few hours.**

**Christy, who sensed my distress, put a calming hand on my shoulder. "Bella I understand what you're going through. My boyfriend left me a few years ago for another girl, and I became very depressed for months. But one day I realized that maybe it's just better to move on. We're here for you and would do just about anything to help you get through this. Your like a sister to me." She said softly and Marcia nodded in agreement.**

**I smiled and pulled them both in for a hug. "Thanks guys, you really are the best. Now who wants to go clubbing!" I said, ready to move past it for now. We hollered and cheered as we got out of the car and strutted our way towards the big glowing neon sign.**

"**Wait!" I stopped them and they gave me confused looks. "We're under age. How are we supposed to get in?" I asked and Marcia laughed. "Oh yeah, I almost forgot! I got these fake ID's for us, they will get us in." She explained and pulled the ID's out of her handbag.**

**I looked at mine. It showed a small recent picture of me and It read:**_** "Anna Callahan**_**" I raised my eyebrows at the name Marcia chose for me. "What? It's the first name that came to mind." She said defensively. "Nope, just wondering where you got the name from" I muttered. "Hmm. Cera Johnson." Christy mumbled to herself. I tilted my head to the side, processing the new names.**

**Once I got them down, I asked Marcia what her alias name was. "Brenda Watts" She answered and I nodded. "Okay I got it now. Ready to go?" I asked. "Yup" They said and we started walking again. **

"**Move you hips a little" Christy whispered in my ear and I complied. I gently swayed my hips and I started to hear boys whistling and calling us over. Marcia winked at them while Christy just flipped her hair back.**

**I felt their gazes on my ass when we stopped at the entrance to have the guy check our ID's. I swear the dude was on steroids or something. He was about 6'5 and very buff.**

**He gave us one stiff nod and we went in. It was dark but there were flashing lights everywhere. The music was blasting loud and it made my ears hurt. There was one large dance floor that dominated the central space. I noticed people were grinding againsed each other and it made me feel uncomfortable.**

**Some random guy came up to us and asked Marcia to dance with him. I thought she would reject him but to my surprise, she accepted. They started grinding on the dance floor.**

**I didn't know that she was so 'loose' like how she just gave herself to that guy without a second thought. I was learning more and more about Christy and Marcia. A lot of the things they did were unfamiliar to me, but I was slowly getting the hang of it.**

"**Have you ever had a 'drink'?" Christy asked, tossing her arm over my tensed shoulders. I shook my head. "Never" Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?! Girl, you are missin' out! I'm gonna get us drinks" She insisted and walked over to the bar.**

**I chuckled quietly to myself. They were always themselves and they never faked anything. They are like sisters to me. I stood there, leaning againsed the metal rail, watching people grind. I studied their movements, learning the exotic dance.**

**A tall guy approached me. He was obviously drunk considering that he was wobbling all over the place. When he finally reached me, he held onto the rail for support.**

**I could tell he was having a hard time focusing on me. "I'm Daannybluhhsby" He mumbled incoherently. Yup, definitely drunk. I didn't respond to him. "Wasszz uerr nnaame??" He asked.**

"**Anna" I said and a evil grin spread across his clammy face. I started to get nervous when he staggered a step closer to me. I was about to back away when he locked his dirty arm around my waist in a strong, unbreakable grip.**

"**Wwell Annaa, youu look kinnda losst. How 'bout I give youu a ride?" He snaked his hand under my top and I screamed as loud as I could before his hand clamped down on the mouth. "Ssshhhh" He purred in a disgusting way. I got a whiff of his breath and I instantly gagged. It smelled horrible, like he hadn't brushed for days.**

**The music was pounding through the speakers so I doubt anyone heard my scream. I prayed that someone would save me from this sick bastard. I tried squirming, but it didn't seem to work.**

**Suddenly, I heard fast footsteps that sounded like they were getting closer. "Get your fucking hands off her!" Christy screeched. Her hands balled into fists. His grip loosened but didn't release. This pissed her off more. She stormed up to us and knocked him square in the jaw which was followed by a loud cracking sound.**

**He fell to the ground, withering in pain while blood ran freely from his split lip. She shot him a deadly glare. "Ever put you filthy hands on her again and I will hunt you down like a fucking dog, understand?!"**

**He nodded frantically before scrambling to his feet and running off. Her eyes went from furious to concerned. I didn't realize I was still frozen in place with tears flowing down my face until she started to shake me.**

"**Izzy, are you okay?! Did he hurt you?" She asked worried about me. I mouthed 'No' and she nodded, but was still concerned. "Let's get Marcia so we can go" She said pulling me along but I planted my feet into ground. She turned around. "What's wrong?" She asked, a crease forming between her eyebrows. "I'll be okay. I don't want to ruin your night" I whispered. She sighed. "We had plenty of fun and I'm more worried about you. None of it was your fault" She held one reassuring hand to my face.**

"**Thank you, for everything" I said and she gave me a hug. "That's what families are for" Her voice was muffled againsed my shoulder but I still understood every word she said. I smiled, knowing I actually have something to live for.**

**We found Marcia and explained to her everything that happened tonight and she was angry. She said she would have done way more than just punch him. I could just imagine her, tearing him to pieces and it was scary.**

**We got home around 3:30AM and I was exhausted. I dragged myself up to the bathroom to shower. I massaged the strawberry shampoo in my hair and repeated the same process with the conditioner.**

**I really needed Edward at times like this. I felt so helpless. I needed him to show me which 'way' to go. I feel like I'm going down a rocky, unknown path and I don't know where it leads me.**

**The hot water didn't work through the knots like they always did. After 15 minutes, I gave up and wrapped myself in a fluffy blue towel.**

**I sat down on the cold marble floor, with my head resting on my knees. I decided to shave since the hairs were becoming visible. I rubbed my shaving cream all over my legs and ran the shaving razor over them. The cream got onto my hands and caused the razor to slip from my fingers. It sliced the side of my leg and blood oozed from the small wound.**

**I winced from the pain, but I noticed a different edge to it. I bit my lip while ordering my thoughts. It felt strangely good? For a moment, I completely forgot about everything, like a huge weight has been lifted off my back.**

**I held the razor to my wrist, and made a long gash across it. Blood ran down my arm and dripped on the floor. I leaned back againsed the sink, smiling as relief flooded through me.**


	4. Pancake Mornings

**AN: Thanks guys for all the reviews! You made my day and your reward is this chapter. Sorry it's a little short, but I was short on time and I tried my best. Please review or give me any ideas for next chapter which I promise to upload tonight! Thanks again, Christy.**

**WARNING!: More cutting in this chapter.**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters ONLY!**

**I sat there for a few more minutes before someone came knocking on the door. **_Oh shit!_** I thought while rushing to clean up the bloody mess. What if they catch me? I started to panic. "Izzy, are you okay? You've been in there for an hour" Marcia said.**

"**Um, yeah! I'll be out in a minute!" I said, my voice was trembling. **_Damn it! She knows I'm doing something in here!_**Suddenly, the door opened and Marcia and Christy froze in shock.**

**I looked down to see the blood soaked towel in my hand. "Um, I cut myself…" I said nervously. They continued to stare at me blankly. "By accident or on purpose?" Christy asked. Her face was composed, so I had no idea what she was thinking.**

**My heart began to pound in my chest and I blushed for the first time in years. That was sure to give me away. I crumpled to the ground in humiliation, hot tears leaking from my eyes.**

**I felt someone's arm wrap around my body. What was I going to tell her? That I was suicidal? I wasn't, but that was exactly what it looked like. "It's okay" Christy murmured soothingly while stroking my damp hair.**

**I looked at her, wide eyed. "Your serious?" I asked in disbelief. I purposely cut myself and she says it's okay?! She looked away, embarrassed. I narrowed my eyes in confusion. She took a deep breath. "Well, to be honest, I used to cut myself…I still do" She admitted.**

**I raised my eyebrows in amusement. Wow, I never expected to hear that. "But it's okay really!" She continued. "Just avoid any major veins and you should be fine" I just stared at her mutely. "I do it too" Marcia said from the doorway. **

"**Like I said, I know exactly what your going through" Christy muttered. I still didn't say anything. "Well, we'll talk about this later, but right now we should all get some sleep" She insisted. She was right, I felt like I would pass out any second.**

**I moved silently through the hallway, into my darkened room. Not bothering to turn on any lights, I stumbled over invisible objects, while searching for my bed. When I finally reached it, I collapsed and instantly fell asleep.**

*******

**I was awakened by my heated room. The windows were sealed shut, and my door was closed. I lifted my arm to wipe it across my drenched forehead. My muscles were all stiff.**

**I moved drowsily out of bed and opened my window. The immediate rush of cool wind sent chills bristling over my sticky skin. I shuddered, remembering something else that felt ice cold…**

**I grabbed my bag of toiletries and a clean set of clothes, and headed towards the bathroom. "Ugh!" I groaned as I looked at myself in the mirror.**

**My eyes were red and puffy from crying, there were bags under them, and my face was stained with tears. I am a mess! I raked my fingers through my knotted hair and ended up pulling out a chunk of it.**

**I sighed and looked down, defeated. My eyes brightened up when I noticed the small razor I used last night. I hesitantly lifted it from the counter, examining it. I saw my dried blood on it and made a face.**

**I rinsed it under warm water and dried it with a tissue paper. I pressed the blade againsed my forearm and slid it across slowly, watching it slice the skin. Red liquid spilt out and before it dripped, I held my arm over the sink.**

**There was a little pain at first, but it numbed down and calmness washed through me. I sighed in happiness and stepped into the shower. My cuts burned under the steaming water, but I didn't care.**

**After my relaxing shower, my muscles were thawed out and I was feeling way better. I threw on a light pink shirt that said **_**"Royal Bitch"**_** in a silver, elegant script and a white mini skirt.**

**I finished up by brushing my teeth and I jogged down the steps to find Marcia making chocolate chip pancakes. She turned around with a plate and handed it to me. "Thanks" I mumbled and she smiled. **

**I forked up a piece and stuffed it into my mouth. "Mmm, this is really good" She turned to face me with a huge grin on her face. "I'm glad" She said proudly.**

**Christy strode into the kitchen and sat down next to me. "Can't wait to start our first day of school!" She said sarcastically. Marcia rolled her eyes at her and I laughed. I completely forgot that today was our first day of Senior year. **

**I've been dreading this day although I knew I'd have to face it sometime. The high school brought back many memories that I didn't want to remember. "Aren't you gonna eat?" I asked, distracting myself from my thoughts. "After all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!" I faked my cheerfulness.**

"**I already ate. I needed to do it early so I have extra time to make myself perfect for my first day of school" She giggled like some school girl. "I ate too. You're the last one so hurry up before we get there late!" Marcia ordered me in a very '**_mom-ish'_** tone.**

**I sighed as I put my dishes in the sink and went to the bathroom to get ready. I did the same style last night. Smokey eyes, light pink lip gloss, and loose beach waves.**

**I chose my ivory Coach hand bag since it matched my outfit. I heard the purring of the car outside so I knew they were waiting for me. Out my way out, I slipped on a pair of silver Jimmy Chooheels and white designer jacket in less than five seconds.**

**Marcia was honking the horn now and so I bolted out the door, thankfully without tripping. I jumped into the front seat beside her and let her irritation boil over.**


	5. Heroin

**AN: Sorry, this chapter is small but I'm running kind of low on ideas. I know you guys were probably looking foward to the Cullens in this chapter and I apologize for that but they will be in the next one. Any ideas for the story would be greatly appreciated. Please review! -Christy**

**We were seven minutes away from the school and I was getting kinda freaked out. I knew the school would definitely bring back old memories. Memories that I've been trying so hard to run away from, and now were driving right back into them.**

**I peeped in the rearview mirror to see Christy fiddling with something. I looked closer and saw a metal spoon with some weird looking liquid in it. She held her cigarette lighter under it, like she was trying to heat it. She dug into her purse and pulled out a small silver syringe. **

**She filled it with the strange **_**yellow-ish **_**liquid and drove it straight into one of her veins. I thought my eyes would pop out of my sockets roll under the seat. Was she sick or something? I never knew doctors prescribed these kinds of things to people.**

"**Are you okay, Christy?" I asked, turning to face her. She was putting the objects back into her bag. She gazed up at me and smiled. "I'm okay, why do you ask?" She questioned me in a completely calm manner.**

**This confused me. She never acted this way before, she was always in a 'cheery' or 'jumpy' mood, but never calm. I ignored her question and asked my own instead. "What was that stuff you just injected into your arm?"**

**Her smile widened as she answered. "It's just another way we relieve our stress" She shrugged indifferently. I raised my eyebrow. "We?" I said. Marcia spoke up this time. "Yeah we both use it. Would you like to try?" I narrowed my eyes, confused. **

"**What exactly is it?" I made a 'grossed out look' and they both laughed. "It's heroin" They said as if it were the most obvious thing. I think my eyes literally fell out of my head.**

**They reassured me quickly before I could go full-on panic mode. "It's a reliever. Were not some crazy druggies!" Marcia giggled and I scowled in return. "If your on any sort of addicting drug, your considered a 'druggie'" I retorted.**

"**Come on Izzy! You've been living with us for months now and you know just as well as we do that we are well under control. This stuff just makes everything seem unimportant. Your basically numb" Christy stated.**

**I thought about it for a moment. If I take this, I won't have to deal with the pain anymore. My decision was made in an instant. "I'll do it" I said with a strong voice.**

**Christy got the syringe ready while I focused on my breathing. She leaned forward and gripped my arm tightly in her hand. She pushed the point into the crease of my arm and my muscles tensed as she released the fluids.**

**I felt so calm and my nerves were tingling. My vision went blurry and then I was lost in darkness.**

********

**I woke up in my bed with a terrible migraine. I noticed a small movement, coming from the corner of the room. My eyes snapped up to see Christy sitting on the sofa, watching me. She crossed the room and sat at the edge of my bed. She gave me an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, I forgot to mention that this is what it's gonna be like for your first time. After this, you should be okay. Your system has to get used to the drug first" She explained.**

**I just nodded. "Where is Marcia?" I asked. "She went to school. She was very upset that she was late"**

**I sighed quietly to myself. It was going to take some time to make it up to her. I knew how much this meant to her and I completely thought of myself.**

**Christy left to get me some aspirin and a glass of water. I popped the pill into my mouth and chugged down the entire glass within seconds.**

**I was feeling better after a few minutes and was able to get up and walk around, without fainting. When I was finally recovered from the drug, Christy gave me another dose. **

**This time I could fully experience the effects of the drug. It was like nothing in the world mattered. I couldn't feel emotion or anything. I was just so…numb, and I loved it. I had no regrets on my decision. None at all.**


	6. The Cullens

**AN: I'm so sorry for not updating yesterday! My weeks are usually booked and I have very little time to write. I will continue to update but it may be short sometimes. Please review! I always enjoy reading your comments. Sorry again -Christy**

**Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns all Twilight characters including Edward, Bella and the rest of the Cullen family.**

**Today, I am definitely ready to go to school. Christy shot me up again and was perfectly stable for the day. I changed into a gray sweatshirt and white skinny jeans and went to school early.**

**The car ride passed by a lot faster than usual, due to my lack of attention.**

**We arrived at the high school and I remained completely at ease. I sighed in relief and opened the car door. Marcia and Christy flanked my sides as we approached the school hallway.**

**I heard gasps and murmurs around me, and I knew they were talking about us. "Is that Bella?" Someone asked in disbelief. I smirked at him. "It's Isabella to you" I said in a bitchy voice and walked off.**

**I stopped dead in my tracks when I passed a silver Volvo, parked not too far from the porche.** _That couldn't be them…could it?_** I turned around to investigate and what I saw, confirmed my thoughts. **

**All five of them, staring back at me with shocked expressions. All except for Edward, who showed nothing but pain. I rolled my eyes and made my way to the office room. I could care less if they came back, they just better stay away from me. **

"**Welcome back Ms. Swan" Ms. Cope greeted and handed me, my senior year schedule. I looked it over until I got it down. My first class was chemistry and so I paced off to building C. I handed my slip to Mr. Duarte and eyed the packed classroom for an open seat. **

**The one and only, Edward was in my class, sitting next to the last empty desk. "Shit" I cursed under my breath, too low for the teacher to hear, but apparently, someone else heard. **

**Edward's head snapped up and his eyes met mine. I glared and his face crumpled in sadness. **_Good for him, he deserves it._ **The voice in my head mocked, but for some reason, a small part of me felt bad. **

**I was disgusted. I thought I moved past it all already, but obviously I didn't. I was going to have to take double the amount of drugs to seal my mind away from it. I wasn't going to let myself get hurt again.**

**I seated myself beside him, my whole body tensed and cautious just in case he tried something. I faced the board the whole time, knowing he was staring at me.**

**I felt myself getting ready to have a breakdown, and I knew the drug was wearing off. I raised my hand and he called on me. "I need to go to the nurses office. I do not feel well" I stated and swiftly exited the room.**

**I turned for the bathroom instead and locked the door behind me. I dumped out my purse onto the counter, searching through it's contents for my razor.**

_Aha!_** I desperately grabbed the blade and slashed it across my arm without hesitance. I closed my eyes as my breathing slowed. Suddenly, the razor was ripped from my fingers.**

"**What the hell are you doing?!" A beautiful voice growled angrily and I whirled around to face him. **_Beautiful? _**I shook my head, trying to clear my mind. I scowled and held out my hand. "Give it back" I demanded but he didn't comply. **

**His eyes were pitch black and his mouth was set in a straight, hard line. "Answer my question" He snarled. "None of your business" I retorted and put my things back into my purse. **

**I pulled down my sleeve and headed for the door. Right then, Lauren came in and walked right into me. She stood in front of the door and shot glances between Edward and I.**

"**Cutting yourself again Bella?" She asked casually. My hand twitched, wanting to smack her. Great, now I'm gonna have to explain this to Edward. His black eyes darted to me, a knowing look crossing his face.**

"**Hey!" Lauren complained as I shoved her to the side so I could escape. I couldn't deal with this right now. I left my books behind in class and raced to the parking lot to get out of here.**

**I looked around cautiously as I proceeded, making sure no one saw me. After all, school wasn't out yet and I was ditching. I stopped at the car and rummaged through my bag for the spare keys.**

**It became frustrating after a while and so I dug even deeper for the keys. I gasped, startled as I was swung into a pair of strong, cold arms. I looked up to see Edward, carrying me to his car where Jasper and Emmett were waiting with the door open.**

"**What are you doing?! Put me down!" I shouted furiously. I scrambled in his arms, trying to break free, but he wouldn't budge. He set me down in the back seat and shut the door.**

**Emmett pinned me down while Jasper sent waves of calm toward me. I was too pissed for it to work. Edward got into the front seat and started driving. I continued to fight againsed Emmett's grip, but we both knew I wouldn't win.**

"**Where are you taking me?" I asked, out of breath. "My house" He answered coldly. My teeth clenched together. That was the last place I wanted to go. "Why can't you guys stick to your damn promises? Oh, I'm never gonna leave you Bella I love you, or sorry Bella, were never coming back, It'll be as if I never existed" I imitated his voice poorly. **

**I saw him flinch slightly in the rearview mirror. "I do love you Bella, I never wanted to leave you. I lied to protect you, and I'm sorry. I'm back now, and I swear I'll never leave your side again" He vowed.**

**I rolled my eyes. Just another bunch of lies. "Hi Belly" Emmett said. "Hi" I mumbled quietly. I couldn't be mean to him, he didn't do anything to hurt me. I didn't notice the car stop until Edward came around to open the door for us.**

**Emmett helped me up. I stretched once I was out. I've been cramped in the same position for about fifteen minutes. "It's nice to have you back again" Emmett grinned and lifted me into a big bear hug.**

**I couldn't breath for a few seconds and I was gasping for air. He laughed and set me down. Edward and Jasper were nowhere in sight, so I guess they went into the house.**

**The house that I haven't seen in over two years. It was still in excellent shape. No rotting wood or chipping paint, always as good as new. Emmett gestured towards the house with a reassuring smile on his face. I smiled back a little and walked nervously to the front door.**

**The door opened before I could even knock and Esme pulled me in for a gentle, motherly hug. "Bella dear, I'm so happy to see you. Come in, and make yourself at home" She said sweetly and I followed her in.**

**The whole Cullen family was waiting in the living room, their golden eyes watching me intently. I stood several feet away from them and folded my arms over my chest.**

**Edward was the first one to speak. "Bella, we know you have been cutting yourself and taking drugs, specifically heroin" He said and I froze. I know that he knew about the cutting, but how did he find out about the drugs?**

"**How did you find out about the drugs?" I asked and he tapped the side of his head. **_Hello! How could I have forgotten that he can read minds? Of course he would've found out that way._ **"Why do care anyway? You left me so why would it matter? It's my choice" I defended myself. Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.**

"**Bella, I never wanted to leave you. I thought you'd be better off without me. I didn't know it would be like this," He then looked at me with stern eyes. "I love you Bella and I won't let anything hurt you, not even yourself. Your going to stop the drugs and cutting, whether you like it or not"**


	7. Escape

**AN: Thank you for all your amazing reviews! They motivate me to wirte more chapters. Here is chapter 7 so please review and share any ideas for future chapters. I apologize for any typos.**

_**Previously: "I love you Bella and I won't let anything hurt you, not even yourself. Your going to stop the drugs and cutting, whether you like it or not"**_

**Whether I liked it or not? Don't even get me started, he stopped being a part of my life the moment he left. He doesn't have any authority over me. "I don't think so. I'll continue to do it as long as I please. You have no say in the decisions I make, and with that said, I think I will leave now"**

**I turned for the door but suddenly Edward was there, blocking my path. "You're not going anywhere" He scoffed and I glared at him, my eyes filled with hate. "Fine keep me here, but that's not going to stop me" I said stubbornly and plopped down on one of the sofas. **

**I looked out the window to see the day, slowly fading away into a moonless night. "So where am I supposed to sleep?" I puffed in a restless voice. "Edward's room, your things are already up there" Alice spoke softly.**

**I gave her one, swift nod before heading towards the stairs. When I reached his room, I found my duffel bag sitting on top a large bed, in the center of the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to disappear.**

**I went through my bag, finding multiple sets of clothes, tooth brush, my strawberry shampoo, and my shaver. I smiled at the last one. I wonder why they would give me a shaver if they knew I cut myself with it. I narrowed my eyes at the thought.**_ They are strange people._

**I grabbed a dark blue camisole, black boy shorts and a clean underwear set. I skipped to the bathroom with my razor, which isn't exactly smart but I was eager to cut. I was getting addicted to this, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to.**

**Once in the bathroom, I locked the door behind me. It probably wouldn't do any good since they could just bust right through it. I yanked my clothes off and turned the water as hot as it would go.**

**The shower was steaming by the time I got in and I thought it would melt my skin right off. I made two deep gashes on both wrists and let the blood wash away with the water. I smiled at the burning sensation as I held my arms directly under the shower head.**

**I was in my happy place until reality came back to slap me across the face. **_Who would ever cut themselves and think they can get away with it, in a house full of vampires? _**I tilted my head to the side. **_Oh well, too late now… _**I shut off the water and wrapped myself in a towel.**

**Edward then ran right through the door, leaving a outline of his form on the ragged edges. His face was bone white and his eyes were black. He snatched the shaver from me and crushed it effortlessly in his stone hand.**

"**What are you doing?!" He growled and I shrugged, unaffected by his tone. I placed a finger on my lips. "Well let's see, you smelt the blood, you broke down the door and saw a razor in my hand. I'd say it's quite obvious" I mocked.**

**He glared furiously at me and I smirked. "Now if you will excuse me, I'd very much rather if I got dressed without having a peeping tom watching behind my back" I winked teasingly and he shifted uncomfortably before storming out.**

**I giggled quietly to myself, knowing I got to him and I would continue to mess with him as long as I was here. After I was dressed, I strolled down to the kitchen for a glass of water. From the corner of my eye, I saw Alice watching me suspiciously, just in case I tried to make a run for it or something.**

**I grabbed a cup from the cabinet, and filled it with faucet water. I drank slowly so I wouldn't choke and tossed it in the sink. "Aren't you gonna eat something?" She asked, eyeing my skinny form.**

**I shook my head. "Nope, not hungry. Drugs really make you loose your appetite" I answered simply and headed back to the stairs. "It's not healthy you know" She stated and I froze in place. "The drugs didn't make me this way" I whispered and returned to the room.**

**I curled up on the bed all night, thinking about everything that has happened since they returned. They think they're helping me get better, but they really are just making it a lot worse. **_Don't let yourself get hurt again. You know what they did to you._** I reminded myself.**

**I wondered how Christy and Marcia are doing. I was gone the whole day and didn't mention a word to them. They were probably freaking out, especially Christy. I missed them and I wanted to go home.**

**I rolled over to look at the alarm clock. It was 3:13 in the morning and I still wouldn't fall asleep. I wanted to get out of here. I carefully slipped out from under the covers and walked over to the door. I hesitantly opened the door and peered into the dark hallway. **

**I checked my surroundings thoroughly, to make sure I was clear to proceed. I didn't notice anything. They probably went hunting since I was supposed to be sleeping right now. I tip-toed down the stairs, tensing whenever the floor creaked.**

**The entire room was as dark as the hallway and I could barely see anything. There was a small night light plugged into the wall which helped, but not so much.**

**I ran to the door and attempted to open it, but it was locked. I squinted my eyes, straining to see. I fiddled with it for a few minutes until I got it unlocked. I grinned as I wrenched open the door.**

**Suddenly, it was slammed closed again. I spun around startled, but all I could see was black. "Where do you think your going?" Edward questioned. I tried to run again and he tossed me over his shoulder.**

"**Let me go!" I screeched, as I struggled to escape. I kicked and screamed but it didn't stop him. "Bella can you please calm down" He pleaded and the words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them. "I hate you!"**


	8. Family Meeting

**AN: Sorry this chapter is short. It's difficult for me to write certain scenes but I tried my best. Please review! I really need ideas or I might have to cut the story short. -Christy**

**I covered my mouth as soon as the words came out. I didn't mean to say that to him. I was just so angry and frustrated and my thoughts were spinning out of control. He looked like I just tore his heart out and ripped it into a million little pieces.**

**He immediately composed himself into a blank expression and took a deep breath. "I said I would stop you Bella, and I will" He said before exiting the room. I snickered quietly to myself. "Not if I can help it" I leaned back against the pillows and drifted into a light sleep.**

********

**My whole breakfast time was tense. Edward sat across from me and we were staring at each other the whole time. His face showed the same blank expression as last night and I felt strangely guilty.**

**I squinted my eyes at him and he finally looked away. "I don't know why you even try" I shoved a spoonful of cereal into my mouth and chewed, waiting for a response. "Bella, I'm not going to allow you to hurt yourself" His teeth clenched together and his fist came down on the table.**

**The table quivered slightly before collapsing. 'Oh' I mouthed while surveying the damage. Edward's eyes widened in horror. "Better run Eddie. Esme's not gonna be so happy when she finds out you broke her antique table" I giggled and he glared in return.**

**I skipped out the front door and Edward surprisingly let me. I strolled down the sidewalk with my hands in my pocket. **_What wouldn't I give to have a cigarette right now…_** I continued walking down the path when I caught sight of a flattened cigarette bud, smashed into the concrete. I reached down to pick it up and examined it between my fingers.**

**It was a little bent, but I could still use it. I looked around desperately for something to light it with, but there was nothing. I gave up and stuffed it into my back pocket, hoping I could use it sometime since they took away my pack. **

**I headed back to the house, not bothering to run. He could catch me in a second anyway. When I got back, the entire family was waiting there with serious expressions.**

**I raised my eyebrows at them as I walked around to the stairs. "Family meeting" Carlisle called. **_Well I'm not a Cullen, so I guess I'm excused. _**"You should come too, Bella" He said. I groaned and jogged back down. **

**I sat down in the last seat and crossed my arms, gazing at the polished table. **_Wow, they replaced the table quickly. _**"Bella, your addiction is very dangerous to your health and we are very worried to were this could lead to" Carlisle started, looking at me with concerned eyes.**

**I chuckled humorlessly, while shaking my head and they stared at me like I was crazy. "How about this, let me live my life and stay the hell out of it" I snapped and shoved away from the table.**

**Carlisle, Esme and Edward all stood up at once, ready to restrain me. That set me off. "Why can't you guys leave me the fuck alone?! You have no right to control me! I don't make anyone's decisions except my own, unlike you pigheaded assholes!" I screamed and they all gasped in shock. **

**I never cursed in front of them before, but I didn't care. "Bella, let's just talk about this" Edward said, his hand reaching out to me. I slapped it away and growled. I grabbed the butter knife off the table and tried to slice my wrist to relieve the stress.**

**Edward gripped my wrists and pinned them behind my back while Carlisle got a needle. I screamed and thrashed around violently. They were going to sedate me. Tears were streaming down my face as I continued to fight them.**

**He plunged the needle deep into my shoulder. My eyes drooped and my whole body went weak. I began sway, and passed out into Edward's cold arms.**


	9. Craziness

**AN: Thank you for the awesome reviews! 43 is a lot but I would like to reach at least 48 reviews by the time I post chapter 10. Thanks again and I hope you like this chapter. Please review and ideas are always welcome. -Christy**

**I forced my eyes open, but they threatened to close again. I was so exhausted and worn out. I scowled at the ceiling, remembering what happened. **_Damn idiots sedated me. No wonder why I feel like shit._** My thoughts were interrupted by a tapping sound at the window.**

**I warily got up to look out the window and saw Marcia and Christy throwing pebbles at the window frame. My heart sputtered for a second. **_They actually came for me. _

"**What are you guys doing here?" They were the last people I expected to see. "Getting you out of here" Marcia hissed quietly and I was surprised that Edward or any of the Cullens didn't come barging in yet. I looked back at the door, deciding whether or not I should do it. **

_Edward's gonna be furious. _**I shrugged it off and turned back to the window. **_I don't give a shit about how he feels. He didn't when he left._** I gazed down at the lawn. It was pretty far down and I don't think they brought a ladder with them.**

"**How am I supposed to get down?" They looked worried for a minute but then something they saw caught their attention. They jogged out of sight, and reappeared with a plastic tarp.**

**I narrowed my eyes, confused as they spread it wide and gripped it tightly in their hands. "Jump Bella, it's strong enough to support you" My breathing hitched and fear flooded through me.**

"**Don't worry Izzy, we're both ready" Christy nodded, telling me to hurry. I slowly climbed out onto the roof, crouching slightly so I wouldn't lose balance. I took a deep breath and leaped into the air. I bit my lip, holding back a scream as gravity pulled me back down.**

**My body smacked against the tarp, my back stung from the force and I felt nauseous. "Come on, we have to hurry!" Christy helped me up and rushed to the car with Marcia right on our heels.**

**I threw myself into the backseat while Marcia started the engine. "Bella stop!" Alice screamed, running through the garage at human speed. She had to or she would have exposed herself. I giggled and waved at her. "Bye!" Marcia stepped on the gas and I saw Alice glare at me.**

**We busted out laughing when we could no longer see the house. This was so awesome, I thought I would never get away from them. "They are so cruel, they wouldn't let me smoke one freakin' cigarette!" I pouted and they chuckled.**

"**Here" Christy opened the glove compartment and handed me a smoke. I grinned and stuck it between my lips. The usual calmness took over but something wasn't right.**

**I had everything I needed, Marcia, Christy and razors, so why did I feel so empty? Edward's words kept repeating in my head **_'I love you'_** and I was beyond confused.**

**Why would he say that? Edward made it perfectly clear that he didn't love me and now he was trying to take away the one thing that mattered. People say that drugs destroy lives but I think different. Edward left me broken and alone and the drugs helped me move on.**

**But why would he say that he loves me? I'm just a plain human that was too weak to stand on her own. It never made sense for him to love me. I knew that when we were together and I was right. I could never compare to the beauty of a vampire.**

**But even if he did love me, how could he expect me to ever trust him after what he did. I wanted to hate him, but I knew that some part of me still had feelings for him, and I hated that. I knew he didn't love me, and I know the only reason he said it was because I was a mess and needed help.**

"**Are we going to school tomorrow?" I asked as we pulled onto the driveway. "Yeah, you missed too many classes already and your grades will drop if you miss anymore" Marcia looked at me in the rearview mirror.**

**This is only going to make things harder. Of course 'they're going to school too. **_What the hell was I suppose to tell him? _**I bet he's going to toss me in his car again and take me back to his house, but his time he'll make sure I don't escape.**

"**Just stay near us and they won't bother you" Christy said and I scoffed while rolling my eyes. **_If you only knew that they are ten-thousand times stronger than you…_

**I went to my room and flopped down onto the bed. Things were very hectic lately and it was driving me nuts. I definitely needed a break from all of it. I should get a job and hopefully someday get my own place where I could get away from all the craziness. My eyelids soon fluttered and sleep overtook me. **


	10. Too attached

**AN: OMG! I recieved many more reviews than I expected and I am ecstatic! This chapter is very sad but I didn't plan this story out like I should have when I first started and I'm kind of just writing it along the way. Who knows, maybe in future chapters, Christy and Marcia will come back and Bella will have to choose between them and the Cullens. Please review and tell me if you would like Bella to forgive Edward in the next chapter or forgive him later. Thanks and I apologize for any typos -Christy**

_**My eyes darted around frantically, searching for any signs of the Cullens. I didn't see any of them so I let it go for now. I walked nervously to class, wishing I wouldn't have to go. But I had to or I would fail my class and possibly be held for Summer school or even worse, repeat the whole year and stick around with the Cullens.**_

_**I shuddered at the thought. I don't think I could handle being around any of them while Christy and Marcia are off in college. They were my safe harbor and I always felt protected with them. Even though they wouldn't stand a chance during a stand-off with a Cullen member.**_

_**I've been holding my breath for a while and my face was surely purple by now. **__I might start losing brain cells_** and with that knowledge, I rushed to class. Edward's seat was empty, **_Thank god_ **and I exhaled, nearly passing out from lack of oxygen.**

**The class hour dragged on, and I was drifting off every now and then. I yawned loudly and slouched in my seat to show my disinterest "Ms Swan, I will not tolerate rudeness in my class. Report yourself to the office" Mr. Duarte ordered without any warnings.**

**I trudged lazily to the office and sat down in front of Mr. Grant's desk. He didn't look at me as he continued to drink his coffee. **_Sometime today, please… _**I tapped my fingers on the armrest impatiently. "Would you like to explain to me why you are here?" He asked and I shrugged.**

"**The lesson was boring. Not my fault you hired a bunch of idiots to teach the class" He stood up from his leather chair and pointed to the door. "You just earned yourself three weeks of detention young lady. You are excused" He scoffed and the bell rang.**

**Students crowded the hallways and I saw Christy by her locker with Stephan Barris. I could faintly hear their conversation but only bits of it. She leaned forward and kissed him on the lips and I was shocked. She never told me she had a boyfriend.**

**Stephan whispered something in her ear and it made her jumpy and exited. "Of course I will! Izzy will be fine, she can have the house" Christy didn't even notice that she was basically shouting. I narrowed my eyes in confusion.**_ Keep the house? What is she talking about? Is she going somewhere?_

**Christy saw me and bounded over. She grabbed my arms and shook me with a huge grin on her face. "Guess what?! Stephan just asked me to move in with him!" She screamed and I tried to cover my ears. **_What?! I couldn't have heard right. Please tell me I didn't._

"**What?" My voice cracked and I forced the lump in my throat down. She saw my face and her forehead creased. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry! I wasn't thinking, I can stay if you want. I mean I don't have to go" She said sadly and I mentally slapped myself.**

_Stop being so selfish! You always think of yourself! They have lives too and you knew you had to let them go sometime._**I took a deep breath. I knew it couldn't always be about me, and I had to move on too, just like Christy did. "No, you have to go. I'll be okay" I whispered but I wasn't sure if my words were true. She pulled me into a tight hug and buried her face into my shoulder. "Thank you so much Izzy. You have no idea how much this means to me" She said and I smiled slightly, **

_At least I have Marcia right?_ **"No problem" I said and she smiled once more before walking off with Stephan. Marcia was just coming out of the biology room and came to walk with me to the car. "Izzy I need to tell you something" She said hesitantly, like she was scared of how I would react.**

**I looked at her and she was staring at the ground. **_What could possibly go wrong now?_**"What's wrong?" I asked and she looked even more nervous. "Christy is moving to San Francisco with Stephan and I'm going to go live with my mom in California for awhile. I haven't seen her since my parents got divorced" She said and I froze.**

_Everything could go wrong. They're both leaving and I was going to be alone again. It was a mistake to get attached to someone again. Because they would eventually end up leaving me. Just like Edward and the Cullens, then Charlie and Renee, and now Christy and Marcia._

"**I'm so sorry Izzy. You know I would've done it differently If I could. You'll always be my best friend and I promise to visit you twice a year" She assured me but it didn't work. I just stayed silent, staring at nothing.**

"**Here, the car is yours. Our stuff in in Stephan's truck and he's driving us to the airport tonight" She handed me the keys to the porche. "Bye Izzy, I'll miss you" She gave me a quick hug and ran to catch up with Christy. The hole in my chest ripped wide open and I knew that nothing could fix it now.**

**I walked lifelessly through the parking lot, searching for the car.**_ I swear we parked it over here…_** I gazed at the empty lot, when I heard someone clear their throat.**

**I glanced up to see Edward, leaning against his car with an enraged look on his face. He looked at me, taking in my dead expression and forgot about the anger. He was about to say something, but I raised my hand to cut him off. I got into his car and found Alice, Jasper, and Emmett in it.**

"**Sorry Bella, this must be very hard for you" Alice said and I gave her the nastiest look I could pull off. "And how would you even know what it feels like to be left behind? You don't know shit about me or what I've been through" I growled and she cringed. **_Good for her._

"**I know how it feels" Jasper murmured from the drivers seat. Edward sat next to me and gazed at me sadly and I couldn't hold back the tears any longer. They leaked from the corners of my eyes and Edward cradled me to his chest comfortingly and protectively.**


	11. Dying inside

**AN: I am very, very sorry that this chapter is so short! I'm visiting my parents in Washington tomorrow and I've been packing all day! I might not be able to update for the next three days. Again, I apologize, I'm really trying my best so please be understanding. I'm working on making my chapters longer, but that will mean that I need more time to update. Is it okay if I update every 2 days instead of 1? Also, as I said in the last AN, I didn't really plan the story like I should have and I'm kind of struggling with it. Bella tries to kill herself in this chapter and I would like to know how you want it to end up next. Two choices: 1) Edward turns her to save her. 2) Bella sort of dies and then by a miracle, she comes back or something. I don't want to disappoint you with the outcome, so I want to know how you would like it to be. I will consider all ideas. Please review! -Christy**

I've been staying in Edward's room for about four days now, without ever coming out. Esme, Alice and Edward are taking shifts on watching and feeding me but I couldn't eat. I'm so sick of it all and I'm tired of feeling like this. _**The only solution is to end my life. **_**To be honest, I didn't really want to die, but I've been trying to live and I can't. I try to breathe but I keep on suffocating. And I can't survive this way.**

**Esme stood in the doorway, a crease forming between her brows. I continued to stare at the wall when she came up behind me and began to stroke my knotted hair "Bella dear, you should come downstairs. It pains me to see you so broken. My son made a huge mistake and although he doesn't deserve it, I hope that someday you can forgive him. He does love you, and he wasn't lying when he said it" **

**I didn't turn to face her as tears blurred my vision. They obviously don't know the definition of pain because I'm the one hurting the most, not them. "I'll give you a moment to think about it" She said as she left me alone. **_I didn't have to think. I knew what I wanted and what I want is to stop existing. _**I wiped the rest of my tears away and dug into my pocket were I stuck a razor just in case I ever needed it. **_Now I did and it will be the last time I use it._

**I sliced both wrists and began to stab myself several times until I didn't have the strength anymore. Pain shot through my body like burning hell, but I couldn't stop now. Blood stained everything around me as I fell to my knees. The red pulsed out of my arm. **_I must have severed a vein._ **Using up the last of my energy, I slid the blade across my neck. The razor fell from my hand as I chocked on my blood, struggling to get oxygen. **

"**NO!" Edward snarled, rushing in to lift me from the ground. The rest of the family filled the room and Esme eyes bulged. "CARLISLE!" She screamed and he busted through the door in a split second. Carlisle kneeled down beside me, shouting orders at Edward. My heartbeat was slowing and Edward began to do CPR on me. "Come on Bella! Breath, for me!" He begged, pressing his icy lips to mine and forcing more air into my lungs.**

**He continued to pound on my chest, and I started coughing. I was gasping wildly for air, but I couldn't breathe. "Edward, get the ventilator!" Carlisle shouted at him and suddenly, I felt something being pushed down my throat, it felt like a tube. I could breathe easier now but the cool air was drying out my throat. The blood was still pouring out of my mutilated body parts and I was beginning to feel light headed. My stomach churned at the scent of blood and I gagged a little.**

**I felt myself slipping into unconsciousness and I didn't fight it. I wanted to die, and I didn't want them to save me. I didn't really forgive Edward, but I couldn't deny the fact that I had some feelings for him, even if it wasn't possible for him to ever love me, he needed to know how I felt. My voice sounded weak, almost strangled as I spoke. "Edw-ward, I know you don't lo-ve me, but I do love you" He looked heartbroken and he took my hand in both of his. "Bella, I have always loved you and will continue to, even when I stop existing. Please fight it, for me. Stay alive-" His beautiful voice faded, as I slipped under. **


	12. Coma

**AN: Hey guys, I'm back from Washington! Sorry for the wait. Here is chapter 12 and I hope you like it. Please review!**

"She hasn't waken up… Why hasn't she waken up yet?! It's been fourteen hours!!"" Edward was going crazy and I was getting a headache from all his rambling. I could hear everything, but I couldn't move my body. I felt frozen and had no control over my limbs. Alice was trying to reassure him that I was fine, but I wasn't really convinced myself. It would have been a lot easier if they would just let me die in peace. "Edward, Bella is gonna be fine! _**Jeez,**_** your giving me a damn headache, so if you'll be so kind, shut up already!!"** **Alice exploded and I heard something get smashed.**

"**Alice, lower your voice, your gonna damage her ears! They're extremely sensitive you know!" Edward hissed and I could just picture Alice rolling her eyes. "Why would she do this to herself? Why would she try to take herself away from me forever?" Edward sobbed and I heard Alice's soft voice comforting him. "She'll be okay, Edward. Just give her some time to recover" She soothed and I felt slightly better. **_That's a relief. Now I don't need to worry about being trapped in this uncomfortable position for the rest of my life._

**A icy chill ran down my spine and I had the urge to shiver, but I couldn't move. **_It's freezing in here! Where am I anyway?_** I heard Edward's breathing hitch. "My poor Bella is cold! Alice, could you get her a blanket. It must be so hard for her, to be going through all of this. And she's been going through it all by herself. She deserves to have a happy life and now look at her, she's in a coma!" He ranted and realization flooded through my head. **_Oh my god, I'm in a coma! A fucking coma!_

**I was pissed now. I could have been dead by now, but at least I would've been happy. But instead, they keep me here, where I am heartbroken and torn apart, and try to fix what cannot be saved. Curiosity filled me when the room became silent. I suddenly felt a cold breath at me ear and I immediately knew who it was. "Bella, I am so sorry. This is all my fault and your suffering for my mistakes. I love you so much Bella, and you didn't deserve any of this pain. I would switch places with you any day if it meant you wouldn't have to feel It" He kissed my forehead and started to hum my lullaby.**

**For some reason, I believed him and I wanted to tell him that I did. The sweet tune of my lullaby made my heart swell with love and I felt a little tingling in my arms. Sort of like the feeling of the a hundred needles, prickling at your skin and my fingers started twitching. **

"**Alice, she's moving!" Edward gasped and I felt another pair of cold hands on my face. "She's going to wake up in two minutes and thirteen seconds!" She squealed and I heard her jumping up and down.**

**Soon, I was able to move my arms and legs, and then I opened my eyes. I peered around the room, taking in my surroundings. Edward bolted to my bedside and took one of my hands. "Thank god your okay!" He said but I didn't look at him. I gazed at the ceiling with tears leaking from my bloodshot eyes. **_why would Edward ever love someone so messed up. A stupid, suicidal drug addict. I'm so pathetic and I don't understand it at all. _**I covered my face with my hands, sobbing like a pathetic person would. Edward sighed and pulled my arms away from my red, tear-stained face, exposing me to him.**

**I closed my eyes ashamed and he cradled my face in his hand. "Bella, I was so afraid I was going to loose you. Why the hell would you do that to yourself?!" He was very upset with me and it only made me cry harder. He pulled me tightly to his chest and rocked us back and forth, humming my lullaby in my ear. Minutes passed and I eventually cried myself into dream filled sleep.**

**DREAM: **_I walked down the isle, my white satin dress flowing out behind me like a milky stream. I looked ahead and found my Edward in a dazzling back tux, waiting for me under an arch of red roses. Our eyes met and love radiated, binding us together as true soul-mates…_

********

**I bolted upright, shocked out of the dream. My breathing was erratic and sweat matted some loose strands of hair to my forehead. My puffy eyes watered up again and beads of salty water cascaded over my cheeks. **_It wasn't real. It wasn't real. No matter how bad I wanted it, it could never be real. _**I sniffled and looked around. I was in Edward's room again. I groaned and flipped out of bed, heading for the door.**

**Edward opened it before I could and leaned against the door frame, watching me intently. "How are you feeling?" He asked quietly and I looked at him indecorously. "That's kind of a dumb question, don't you think?" He didn't answer and I sighed, running a hand through my tangled hair. "I'm going to take a shower" I said and walked around him to the bathroom.**

**I undressed myself silently and gazed at my scarred body in the mirror. There were old ones, that just paled out and turned into a gray-**_ish _**color, recent ones that were scabbing, and new ones that were dark pink. All of them marked my skin and I never came to notice how much damage I inflicted on myself. I felt so disgusted and angry with myself. I clutched my hair and yanked at it as hard as I could, screaming in frustration. Edward rushed in and grabbed my hands, trying to loosen my grip.**

"**Stop! Bella stop it now!" He growled and I finally gave up and stopped pulling. I sobbed loudly and lowered myself to the marble floor. **_Now Edward can see 'me'. _


	13. Ready to change

**AN: Hey guys, sorry I havn't updated. My weeks are very busy and it takes longer than usual to write a new chapter. Again, thank you for writing your reviews and adding this story to your favorites. Hope you like this chapter, I had a hard time with it but overall, I think it passed. Please review and I apologize for any typos, -Christy**

**I lay there sobbing in shame as Edward gasped at the scars from my razor. He pulled me to my feet and shook me roughly. His eyes were pure black and angry. "Bella look at yourself! Look at what you did! Do you realize that you'll be stuck with these for the rest of your life?! Why do you keep doing these things to yourself?!" He growled as he made me face the mirror. I looked away, not wanting to see myself.**

**He grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him and I unwillingly complied. He gazed deep into my eyes for a moment, sadness slowly replacing the anger and he crushed me to him, holding me tightly to his chest. I closed my eyes as he carefully caressed the side of my face, like I was a delicate rose petal . "Please let me help you. It rips me apart knowing that you want to end your own life. It just kills me" His voice broke and I knew he was right about everything.**

**I always believed that I was fine. Always cutting myself and taking drugs so I could escape the pain and the memories. But I was wrong all along. I couldn't run away from it because deep down, a part of me always knew it was all real. It wasn't just a bad dream that I could wake up from and move past. I can't pretend that it never happened, because it did. I pulled back so I could see him and took a deep breath before making my final decision. **_I'm ready to change now, Edward. _**"Edward, I want to get better" I whispered and his eyes widened in shock.**

"**Really?" He asked and his smile widened when I nodded. "Yes, I'm ready to get help" I answered and he lifted me off the ground and spun us in a circle. He leaned towards me and I knew what he was trying to do. I pulled away and he looked at me with hurt and confusion, clouding his god-like features. "I'm not ready for that, yet" I explained quickly before he could jump to conclusions and he smiled, understanding. I gave myself to him too easily last time and ended up getting my heart broken and I'm definitely not going to make the same mistake twice. I trusted Edward to a certain level but not fully. "Bella, I swear I will never fail you again" He sealed his words with a kiss on my forehead and I rested my head his shoulder, smiling ****slightly.**

********

**The rest of the family came home later that evening and Edward announced the great news to them. They showered me with hugs and kisses and I was completely shocked when Rosalie pulled me into her embrace. We've never been on good terms and I have to admit, with the way she looks at me sometimes, it just scares the shit out of me. She gave me a warm smile before stepping back to let Esme and Carlisle by. Esme's eyes were glistening with tears that would never fall and Carlisle smiled happily.**

"**I apologize for my behavior lately. I have been very disrespectful to you and you guys have been nothing but kind to me" They both shook their heads in disagreement and I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Bella, you have been going through so much and you have no reason to apologize to us. We are the ones who should be apologizing to you" Carlisle said and Esme nodded.**

**I hugged both of them and was knocked to the ground immediately by a crazy pixie with black spiky hair. "OMG, Bella we are going to have so much fun! We could go shopping and buy the whole mall-" She was cut off by a furious Edward. "ALICE!" He shouted as he came to help me up "Ouch" I muttered as I rubbed the back of my head. "Sorry" She mumbled glumly and I had a strong urge to run and knock her over myself. "Alice, I would love to go shopping with you. I'm in desperate need for a girls night out" I said and she squealed so loud that I had to cover my ears. **

"**Thank you so much Bella, we are going to fun! Since your darker side has seemed to come out, Rose and I should take you clubbing sometime" She offered and I looked away, trying to hide my small blush. "I've already been clubbing" I mumbled and everyone gasped in shock, except for Edward who was fuming. "Really?! Does that mean you already had your first drink?" She asked and I nodded. "Drink**_s_**" I emphasized the (**_s_**) and I swear I heard Edward growl a little. "I never knew you had it in you Bella" Rosalie said and I blushed again. **

"**Tell me all about it!" Alice demanded and I chewed the inside of my cheek, thinking of a good enough summery that didn't include the 'incident' that had occured that night. "Um, well it was very interesting. Marcia got us fake ID's to get in and we just had a good time" I lied at the last part, but I hope it was casual enough. Pain struck me as I thought of her and I shuffled quickly through my head for a different subject.**

"**Details!" Alice pressed and I sighed, exasperated. Edward cleared his throat and we all looked at him. "Bella must be exhausted with everything that has happened today and I think it would be a lot better if we moved this conversation to a more appropriate hour" He said and I smiled at him. "Thank you" I mouthed to him and he mouthed "Anytime" in return. We shared our last hugs and murmured our "Goodnights" to each other before heading to our rooms. I went with Edward to his and he help me get settled to go to sleep. For once I could finally sleep peacefully with a smile on my face.**


	14. Rosalie

**AN: Wow, it's been a loong time since I last updated. I apologize for the hold up but I will start updated again now. This chapter is extremely short, I know! Next chapter will be much longer, I promise. Rosalie and Bella have a little chat in this chapter, so they will slowly get to know eachother better. Please review and ideas are always welcome! Thank you for being so patient.**

**It was around 11:00 when I woke up. I headed down the stairs and found everyone watching tv in the living room. "Good morning" I greeted and Edward appeared in front of me and kissed my cheek. "Morning" He said and disappeared into the other room.**

**I plopped down on the sofa next to Emmett and he tossed his arm lazily across my shoulders. "We're going to the beach in about an hour. You wanna come?" Emmett asked when Alice danced into the room.**

"**Of course she's coming! Right Bella?" She gave me the saddest look and I pursed my lips, irritated. "You make it sound like I have a choice" **

"**That's the spirit! Come with me, I have the perfect bikini outfit for you" She pulled me along with her and I yanked my arm away. **

"**I'm not swimming" Her golden eyes squinted at me and next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of her bedroom, completely nude.**

"**Dammit, Alice!" I shouted, desperately trying to cover myself. "Oh, relax Bella! We're both girls" She came out of her mall-sized closet, holding 3 different bathing suits.**

"**This one is yours" She handed me the black one and I took it awkwardly. "Why black?" I was honestly curious. Before, she always chose blue for me. **

"**Because it matches your style these days" I raised my eyebrows at her, wondering if I should be 'touched' or offended. What did she mean, **_**my style**_**? I mean it wasn't like I wore black **_**all**_** the time.**

"**Don't you dare question my sense of fashion **_**missy**_**! You'll look just fabulous once it's on" I rolled my eyes at her as she gave me a light push towards the bathroom.**

**I slipped on the bikini and walked out without taking one glance in the mirror. I didn't really care what I looked like anyway. **

**Alice wasn't in the room when I came out so I just slipped my shirt back on and went downstairs. Everyone was already in their swim suits and ready to go. My eyes nearly popped out and rolled away when Edward strolled in with only a pair of black swim trunks on and no shirt. **

**I heard someone clearing their throat and so I quickly composed myself and turned to face everyone else but from the corner of my eye, I saw Edward's smirk.**

"**Kay guys let's go!" Emmett jumped out and ran out to the car. "You look really nice, Bella" Rosalie's beautiful voice sounded from behind me. My eyes widened and my words came out in a jumble. "Th-anks Ro-salie umm, you look rea-lly nice too" She wore a red bikini that showed off her perfect super-model body.**

**I had no idea why I was even wearing a bikini in the first place. I had no body to show off. Rosalie looked like a freakin' runway model compared to me. I was just a messed up drug addict with cutting problems. I could let them try and fix me, but that didn't mean that I would be completely healed.**

"**You can call me Rose you know. Whenever you call me Rosalie, I think I've done something wrong" Her friendly smile almost made me faint, but I pulled myself together.**

**I nodded, smiling back. "Rose" I corrected myself.**

"**We better get going. I can hear Emmett complaining out there" I grabbed my sunglasses and followed her out. I was glad that we were on somewhat good terms now. We weren't exactly best friends yet, but were getting there.**


	15. Stupid Emmett

"Where are we going?" I asked as trees blurred past us. Alice laughed. "Well today is unusually sunny so it's not like we can go to any public beaches. Were going to a private beach" She rolled her eyes as if it were completely obvious.

We got there about seven minutes later and I gasped in shock when I saw it. The sun shined through a small opening where the trees weren't blocking it. Clear water gleamed like crystals around a small waterfall, brushing gently against the pale sand. "It's so beautiful" I murmured, completely amazed by it. These are the things I believed were only in movies and books, but never really real.

"I'm glad you like it" Edward stood by me, enjoying the view with me. I tore my eyes away to look at him. "You found this place?" I asked, truly curious and he nodded. "Yes, I like to come here sometimes to think" I was about to ask him something when I heard a loud splash and looked down to see my shirt soaking wet.

"Son of a b-" Alice's hand clamped down on my mouth so the rest of my words were muffled. I clenched my fists, fuming as Emmett began laughing hysterically. Alice removed her hand and a few giggled slipped from her too.

I looked around for something to throw at him and grinned evilly when I spotted a pile of rocks near a tree. I sprinted over to it and grabbed the largest rock. Emmett looked at me in mock horror when he saw me with a rock and I chuckled darkly.

I lifted the rock to throw but it's heavy weight threw me off balance a little. The rock slid out of my struggling hold and landed precisely on my left foot. "Ouch, dammit!" I screamed, hopping up and down. "Bella watch your step!" Edward shouted but it was too late.

I accidentally stepped on a moss covered rock and slipped over the edge. I screamed as I fell, but relief washed through me when I only hit the water. I resurfaced with the dirtiest look on my face. "It's so damn cold!" I shivered, rubbing the sides of my arms. Emmett was laughing so hard that he fell back into the water.

Anger washed over me and all I wanted to do was beat the shit out of Emmett. I grabbed a medium sized stone that was embedded in the powdery sand and waited for him to come back up. When he did, I launched the stone with a much force as I could manage, at the back of his head.

"Hey!" Emmett whipped around and saw me. I tackled and punched him but he didn't even seem frazzled at all. He started laughing again, tossing me into the air. I coughed up some water and charged back towards him but suddenly I felt Edward's arm wrap around my torso, holding me back.

"Let me go! I'm not gonna stop until I beat that little fucker's ass!" I yelled but his grip didn't loosen. Emmett started making baby faces at me and it just added to the fire, raging in me.

"Emmett, could you stop teasing Bella. That would be a smart thing to do, don't you think?" Emmett grinned, but agreed. "Sure, whatever you say Eddie boy. I'm too much for her to handle anyway" He teased again, flexing his muscles and I rolled my eyes. "I want to show you something" Edward murmured in my ear. "Sure" He pulled me down the river, and went through a small cave that led to another area. "Oh my god"


	16. Nearly a slip

**AN: Thanks for all your lovely reviews & also for being so patient. Hope you like this chapter. Please revew! (I apologize for any typos)**

**Disclaimer: Twilight belongs to Stephenie Meyer.**

_**There was a small pool surrounded by wildflowers. It was so amazing and all I wanted at the moment was to jump right into it. "Your always full of surprises" I muttered under my breath and he chuckled, running a hand through his tousled bronze hair. "No, I'm just observant" I rolled my eyes at him and he playfully splashed me with water. I was about to throw a fit again but then thought twice about it.**_

**I was already soaked so why not anyway? Enjoy the moment while it still lasts. I splashed him back and he smiled. We continued splashing each other and laughing and just having a very good time. After hours of water play, we finally went back to catch up with the rest of the Cullens.**

**I sneaked a look at Edward as he was drying off. I was nearly drooling at the sight of him running the fluffy white towel over his abs. **Damn he is one juicy piece of man meat.** "Hey Bella, you better close your mouth before the flies settle up in there" Emmett neatly dodged the slipper I aimed at him. Edward raised an eyebrow and I felt the redness staining my pale cheeks.**

********

**I went up to the shower as soon as we got home, eager to get the sand out of my hair. The shower steam clouded the mirrors and I stepped into the hot spray. I grabbed my strawberry shampoo from the metal rack and jumped slightly when I heard something clatter onto the floor of the tub. I looked down curiously and found my pink shaver laying there in the stream of the water.**

**My eyes widened as I picked it up and shuddered when the urge to cut came back. **Should I do it? I mean, one cut won't kill me. I'm still recovering, so a few slips were to be expected… **Someone knocked at the door and I instinctively dropped it. "Bella honey, are you alright in there? Did you run out of soap?" Esme's soft voice sounded from outside the door. "No, I'm fine! Sorry, I'm almost finished in here" I said quickly, fidgeting nervously with my hands.**

"**Okay then. Come downstairs when your finished, I made your dinner" She said. "Thanks Esme"**

"**No problem"**

**I bent down to retrieve the shaver again, eyeing it carefully. **No, I won't make the same mistake again.**Having decided, I opened the shower door and tossed it into the trash can. I exhaled sharply and smiled. **

********

"**Esme this tastes perfect. Your really good at this" I commented, stabbing another piece of steak and popping it into my mouth. She placed a hand on my shoulder and sighed happily. "Thank you Bella, even though I can't eat any of it, I enjoy cooking" I just had to smile at that. She's always so kind to everyone. I don't understand how someone so sweet could have deserved this great amount of sadness. First she loses her only child, then unexpectedly gets turned into a vampire. I'd be happy to be a vampire but I guess that some prefer to live the boring human life.**

"**So, how have you been doing so far? Any problems come up?" Carlisle strolled into the room, followed by the Cullen 'children'. **Glad I got better at this lying thing. **"Not at all. I feel a lot better these days" I said casually and he nodded, reading my expression. "Very good then, hopefully that keeps up" He called Esme into the other room, maybe to talk or something while Edward and Alice came to sit at the table with me. Alice eyed the food with disgust and I snorted. "You know Alice, this may seem gross to you but you guys drinking animal blood is extremely revolting to me so don't judge" I defended and she turned her head to smirk. "I saw that" I mumbled and Edward chuckled, taking my hand in his. I was about to protest but he silenced me with his eyes.**

"**Friend hold hands too" He stated and I shrugged indifferently. "Just checking"**

**I turned to Alice and saw a vacant expression on her face. I narrowed my eyes at her. I knew that look. It means that she was having a vision. I looked at Edward but he seemed just as lost in thought. His face showed anger and that got me confused. "Alice, what's going on?" The sudden rapping at the door cut her off and she shot me a pleading look instead. I got up and gestured towards the door and she nodded. I walked over with Edward right behind me. I opened it and nearly fainted when I saw who it was. **

"**Why are you here?"**


	17. Problems

**AN: I would like to mention a review that I had recieved saying that Marcia and Christy's departure was sloppy. I do appreciate constructive critisicm but as I have mentioned before, this is the FIRST story I have ever written and it's not always easy to come up with the most perfect plot. Anyways, that's all I have to say about that and I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. I really enjoy reading all of them. Hope you like this chapter! **

"**That isn't the way to greet your best friends, Izzy" Marcia said. I gave her an indecorous look. How could they just pack up their shit and leave me behind, then months later show up at the Cullen's doorstep, acting as if it never even happened? "Why are you here?" I demanded again and she sighed. "Well, Christy caught her boyfriend fucking some whore and she broke up with him. She convinced me to come back with her" She stopped when I started laughing. "You guys thought you could stay with me?" I asked, unbelieving. She nodded and I shook my head. "I don't think that's such a good idea" I said. "Come on Izzy, we need a place to crash. We need to catch up with each other anyway don't we? We could do more cutting and heroin. Hey, we should even do some shots!" Christy said.**

**I just stared blankly at them. "I gave that up a while ago. Edward and his family are helping me get over the addiction" I said and they scowled at Edward who I forget was still behind me. "Izzy, you can't trust them. They left you, remember? I'm sure you do. You would have died without us" My teeth were clenched and my hand were balled up into fists now. "Wow Christy, I'm glad to know that you have so much faith in me" My voice was thick with sarcasm, but then actually thought about it. **_Maybe she is right. they did leave me before, and that really fucked me up. Who's to say that they won't end up leaving again? If I go with them, I just might be able to save myself from it._

**I felt Edward take my hand in his. "I know I made a huge mistake Bella, I would give anything to go back and change it. I swear to you, as did the others. I will never leave you alone again. I'm by your side until you order me away" I smiled at him and he returned it. His eyes filled with so many emotions. Love, sadness… hope. Christy yanked me by the hair. "What the hell, Christy! What's your fucking problem?!" I shouted, stumbling back into Edward, who I was grateful for, **_**for **_**catching me. The Cullen's came rushing out, crouched and ready to protect me.**

**Marcia just stood there with her hands behind her back, obviously hiding something. Anyone could tell just by the sly look on her face. Edward positioned himself slightly in front of me, protectively. "Both of you need to leave" He growled, causing them to back up a bit. Christy composed herself, keeping only a slight space between us.**

**She just looked at me, ignoring everyone's glares and warnings, giving me one last chance. I shook my head. "No Christy, Marcia. I'm done doing all that shit" She suddenly snapped her finger and Marcia rushed forward with the syringe, ready to drug me with it. Edward grabbed her wrist, squeezing it in his hand. I flinched at the crunching sound of her bones breaking, followed closely by her sharp, piercing cries of pain. "Edward, let her go" I commanded and he instantly released his death grip on her, but still continued to glare. I scowled down at Marcia, who was on the ground cradling her mangled wrist and Christy, who just stood there with a cold expression and pointed towards the dark, silent night outside. "Leave now while you still have the chance because I swear to god I won't stop him next time"**

"**Let's go Marcia. We'll see her again" She helped Marcia up and they both leaved. I turned to Edward and saw him staring after them. "Edward?" I tried to shake him but he was frozen in place. "Come on, we'll talk about his later" Alice put a hand on his shoulder and took him inside. "Bella are you okay?" Carlisle asked. **

"**I don't know" **


	18. Love again

**AN: Hey guys, what happened?! I've been getting less reviews every chapter! PLEASE keep the reviews comming. They make me happy. I'd like to thank the 5 people who left a review for last chapter though. Please review.**

**My mind was spinning as I marched up the stairs to the bathroom. **_**I can't believe that just happened. I can't believe they're back. **_**I knew that I made the right choice, and If they actually cared for me, they would respect my decisions. I squeezed a glob of paste onto my brush and began cleaning my teeth with unnecessary force. **

**After I finished, I went to Edward's room and laid down, but was careful not to fall asleep. I knew they were going to discuss what happened and I needed to know what was going on. Just then, Edward came in. "Are you okay?" I asked, sitting up and patting the empty space next to me. He sat down and ran a hand through his hair. "Yeah I'm just fine, but you shouldn't worry about me. You don't have to worry about anything, really. We're going to take care of it" **

**I sighed, closing my eyes. "I did it again" I whispered. "Did what, exactly?" **

"**Put you and your family at risk, all because of me. It's all my fault"**

**The bed suddenly disappeared beneath me and my eyes snapped open when I realized that I was in Edward's lap. He hugged me tightly to him and smoothed my crinkled hair. My body was completely tense but eventually relaxed into his arms. I've never felt this close to anyone in a long time, but this feels…right.**

"**Bella, none of this is your fault. If anything, It was mine for leaving but never yours" **

**After a few minutes, I pretended to be asleep and he gently placed me under the covers and tucked me in before leaving the room. I waited until I heard the door close before slowly crossing the room to the door. I pressed my ear against the cool wood, listening. **

"**I heard their thoughts. They both felt betrayed by Bella for choosing to stay here with us. Christy was plotting ways in her head to get revenge on her. She wants… to kill her" Edward said. I gasped quietly at this. **_**They want me dead. That explains why Edward was acting so strange earlier…**_

"**But what are we going to do? We can't just kill those girls. They're humans!" Esme asked, worriedly. "Of course we won't harm them… if we can avoid that type of situation. We'll just have to make sure one of us is always with Bella so she is completely safe and protected" Carlisle reassured her. "I'm staying with her" Edward growled darkly.**

"**Edward, you'll have to go hunting eventually" Alice chimed in. "Soon anyways. You haven't gone at all this past month" **

"**Fine, but only if it is absolutely necessary"**

**I leaned away from the door and crawled back over to the bed. **_**Jeeze, what a boatload of shit I'm in… **_**I drifted in and out of sleep at random moments and I was beginning to get very agitated. I needed to stay awake in case they talked more about it. I reached the back of my shoulder and pinched the skin hard. "Ouch!" **

**The sudden shock kept me up for a little while until my eyelids started drooping again. "Damn" I muttered, rolling out of bed once again. I wanted to see Edward. I shot a glance at the clock to check the time. **_**3:18 AM. **_**I stretched out my aching muscles and paced towards the door. The lights were off so it made it more difficult getting downstairs. The house was so quiet, anyone would have believed there wasn't anybody home. But I knew they were all here. They were probably in their rooms or something.**

**I bit my lower lip when I was finally past the treacherous stairs, looking blankly around the dark room. "Edward?" I called softly. "I'm out here" He relied from the back patio. I tilted my head to the side. **_**What's he doing out there? **_**There was a faint glow through the satin curtains that helped me find the backdoor to the patio. I pushed open the glass door and stepped out into the moonlit night. Edward was sitting on a bench, staring up at the moon. He didn't acknowledge my presence, but I knew that he had heard me come outside. I sighed and went to join him on the bench. I looked up, seeing all the stars scattered around the dominating moon. "It's beautiful" I said. **

"**Yes, I guess it is"**

**The wind picked up, sending a cool breeze around me. I shivered slightly, rubbing the sides of my arms to create friction. Edward looked down at me and shrugged out of his coat. He helped me slide my arms into the long sleeves, and rolled them up a bit to free my hands. "Thanks" I muttered and he smiled. "Of course, Bella" . I looked down at my hands, twisting them nervously. "Edward, I wanted to tell you something…" I began and he nodded for me to continue. **

"**You wanted to kiss me the other night and I stopped you because I didn't know if I could trust you…," Edward's eyes were focused on my face, listening. "Well I've been thinking the past few days and I think, no I know, that I'm still in love with you and… If you say you aren't going to leave me ever again, then… I believe you" I took a deep breath, waiting for his reaction.**

**His eyes lit up and he smiled the biggest smile I've seen in the past days. "Forever" He murmured and inclined towards me. I leaned forward, closing my eyes as our lips met for the first time in three years. Three long years of hurt and sadness just vanished in that moment. His lips sent a spark though my entire body. Our lips moved together, my hands secure around his neck and his weaved into my jet black hair. Without breaking the kiss, I moved onto his lap, straddling him. I heard his sharp intake of breath, but he didn't stop me, yet.**

**I started really deepening the kiss when Edward finally pulled away from me. "Bella, we have to stop" He breathed, leaning in till our foreheads were touching. I could feel myself going into full pout mode, but I didn't say anything. Edward noticed this and chuckled softly. "You know why we can't"**

"**I know, It's just that I've missed you so much an-" He pressed his lips to mine, silencing me. When we broke apart, I started again. "So much has changed the past three years"**

**Edward raised his eyebrow playfully, giving me a funny look. "I'd say. You wear make-up, high heels, designer clothes. You even changed your hair! It's black!" I blushed at the last one. " Hey, I think It looks great, thank you very much!" He ruffled my hair, which I smoothed out as best as I could. "You look perfect with either. Your still my Bella" **


	19. Author's note: Very Important!

Hi guys! I owe you my deepest apologies for making you guys wait so long! Things have been very difficult lately and cut deeply into my writing time. My great grandmother is 94 years old and has been in the hospital since February 26 after she collapsed earlier that day. She basically raised me when my parents got separated and she means very much to me. I've been visiting her everyday to see how she is doing and she still isn't doing so well.

Now before anyone gets overly upset with me, I am **NOT **quitting this story! This is my very first fanfic and you guys have been nothing but kind and patient with me and don't deserve to be left hanging like you have been the last few months.

My friend Evie is going to be helping me out a bit and things will start going a lot smoother again. She will **NOT **be making up and writing random things in the story along the way. We are planning things out together and I'm sending her the story so she can start writing some of it. I'm reading everything she writes, changing and editing it so it works with my story and how I want it to be.

Evie has just recently joined the fan fiction site and has written a one-shot for twilight so far. She has written many stories before. Stories about Twilight and some originals of her own that are not posted on fan fiction. She is very talented and I trust that she can **help me **make it to your expectations.

She's going to post up all the old chapters that are already up so it doesn't seem confusing to any new readers and start posting some of the new chappies we worked on. (Lol, I guess she's sort of like a personal beta reader) Please be patient with her. I'm grateful for her help in the first place. Again I apologize for the hold up. It won't be happening for a **LONG **while.

Evie's pen name is: **Lovely lil' Evie**

(Also if you are interested in LEMONS, you should check out her story lol. It's called 'seducing my fiance')

**ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: Just to make things less confusing for some, Evie is going to change the title of the story. It's going to be called 'Changed not for the bettter' instead of 'Breaking your promises' but same**

**You guys can expect the new chappie to be up by April 17 or sooner.**


	20. Author's note: Good news Updating

Hey guys, I've got great news for you! Evie and I decided to post up chapter 19 one day early so get your reviews ready and go check it out under the new title **Changed not for the better. **It will be up very soon!

-Christy


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